Grief

GRIEF :   Keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss; sharp sorrow; painful regret.

a cause or occasion of keen distress or sorrow.

 

  This was my first tattoo in memory of my daughter Emma Grace. I also included my other two babies, Kailey's is pink, Easton's is blue and Emma's is purple with a halo. The phrase "Loving Emma Grace" to always remember her and remind me that she is always with me! This is also their birth order. Kailey, Emma, then Easton was born a few seconds after Emma in the same minute, 8:02 am 2/4/10.

 This one I got to bring awareness to the terrible disease that took my daughters life.  This is the ribbon for CHD-Congenital Heart Defect,  She was born with Tetralogy of Fallot and had complications from her first Open Heart Surgery.  I can now explain to people and bring more awareness to this terrible disease because most people do not know what this ribbon stands for.  See we all know the cancer ribbons but could you have ever guessed what this ribbon was for, I want people to ask me so I can tell them about it and my wonderful daughter!

 

Some people don't understand a severe grief enough to bring you to your knees and stop your whole entire world.   See there are many many types of grief and many many more ways to express your grief.  Everyone grieves differently and each loss be it a child, parent, spouse, ect., the grief is different.  Don't judge my decision in how I express my grief because it in no way changes my walk with God and my being a Christian or my faith. It is a way to honor my daughter so others will never forget and I KNOW she is always with me! The Pain NEVER goes away and I wish people could understand that I get so tired of people saying that I need to move on it's been x amount of time, well no that's not how it works. So I hope they remember that when they look at her name on me! DO NOT JUDGE ME. Come talk to me when you've lost a child!!!!! I don't need your permission or your persecution, or even your making fun of my decisions in my way to honor my daughters memory, or bring awareness to the horrible disease that took her life. You want to have your double standards walk a day in my shoes and the hurt and pain I live through daily! To me this is saying your degrading my daughters memory and the way I choose to display it. I wouldn't wish the pain on my worst enemy and I will NOT tolerate your double standards and judgement don't ever question MY walk with God because it's not yours!  If not for God to lean on I could not go on or even do the things I do to honor her and try to help others through Kerrington's Heart Inc.  The reason I feel I need to bring attention to this is simply for the fact that people have their double standards, they want to judge me or just simply tell me how I should be grieving or be over it completely.  Guess what you will NEVER get over the loss of a child and daily be reminded that they were a part of you and your life! YOU may want to go on and pretend that I never had my precious EMMA GRACE or the suffering I watched her go through.  If you can live with that that is what you need to do.  What you DON'T need to do is JUDGE me, TELL me how to or when to stop grieving, or even make fun of the way I display my grief.  If you feel the need to do any of these things do me a favor keep your mouth shut and just avoid me period because I will NOT forget that I had a precious Angel her if only for a little while.  I don't mean for this to sound harsh but some people just need to know that some actions are not appropriate.  I hope I haven't offended anyone and if I have it was because I felt like some things need to be said because I know I've had plenty said to me.  To all of you that support me always I can't thank you enough and appreciate ALL the support and words of encouragement.  Yes I am a Christian and Yes I take my walk with God very seriously that is why I try not to judge others and I expect the same in return.  It is not our place to be the judge and jury, that is left up to GOD and GOD alone! I am not saying I'm perfect because I'm the farthest from perfect but I am a Christian and just because I'm a Christian doesn't mean that I am or will ever be perfect it just means that I am forgiven!  Thank the Lord because I'm forgiven I Know that I know that I know I will see my precious EMMA one day again and it saddens me that people had rather be mean, disrespectful, or judgmental instead of keeping the main goal in mind and that is for us all to meet again one day!

 

 Here is a little info on grieving for those of you that may need to be educated on the subject.

 

 For parents, loss of the child is the cruelest experience of their life. Such a death brings unbearable pain and irreparable loss to the parents. It becomes almost impossible for the parents to cope up with the pain and grief resulted from loss of a child. It is a natural phenomenon and no one should expect them to be the same people, that they were before the loss of their child. The pain and grief resulted from the child’s death is not like other medical conditions that could be treated with medicines and recover. Death of a child leaves an impact of the life of parents, which at times alters their lifestyle. It is important for the parents to learn how to overcome with this pain and grief. Bereaved parents are made to do what they think as impossible – to overcome the pain and grief brought by death of child and to rebuild life in absence of their beloved child.

The loss of child makes the parents to face experience of intense emotions and frightening. Their emotions and feelings are natural and normal. However, the bereaved parents must understood that the memories of beloved child will be always with them and they will feel the pain as a result of vacuum created due to loss of their daughter but the intensity of loss will reduce with the passing of time.

Each parent may express his/her emotions in different way and the emotions associated with the loss may be different. Following are some of the most common emotions which are found in the bereaved parents as a result of death of their child.

• Emptiness
• Weeping
• Longing for own death
• Inability to focus or distraction
• Profound sadness
• Exhaustion
• Anger
• Feeling of insanity or guilt
• Weight gain resulted from over eating
• Weight loss occurred due to loss of appetite
• Anxiety
• Denial
• Tightness of chest or throat and difficulty in breathing
• Hyperventilating
• Sensing child
• Inability to perform regular activities
• Feeling loneliness
• Fear
• Irritability with others
• Questions like “Why” and “what if”